By now, there have been hundreds of previews written about this year’s NCAA Tournament. Most of them try to give the reader some new information or hype up some sleeper upset pick. This preview is different. I will be previewing each region in the form of absolutely awful Shakespearean sonnets (without iambic pentameter, sorry). This should be fun! And painful! I’m sure the Vogons will appreciate this effort.
Kansas is the cream of this group, as you see
But UConn, Mark Turgeon and Cal all loom
The Jayhawks will have to play Austin Peay
Good mid-season form, Iowa hopes to resume
Could the Rainbow Warriors triumph early?
Maybe the Shockers could pull off a run…
Will South Dakota State prove to be surly?
Or will Miami at last get some recognition?
Villanova is the two-seed, but they tend to flop
But could this be the year it all comes together?
‘Zona’s offense will be tough to stop,
Colorado’s draw is tougher than leather
Or will Buffalo, Temple, or UNC Asheville devise,
A miraculous plan that will leave us surprised…
“Oregon is overrated”, so some pundits say,
But they crushed the Pac-12 without breaking a sweat
Holy Cross and Bill Carmody have had some great days,
But on the Crusaders and Southern, no one will bet
It’s Shaka Smart vs. Wes Washpun in OKC
While Shaka’s old squad faces Oregon State
St. Joe’s will hope to knock off Cincinnati
UNC Wilmington plays a team that many will hate
Buddy’s a dangerous two seed, so you’ve heard
He could face the Aggies, or Green Bay, perhaps?
Baylor plays Yale, don’t sleep on the nerds!
There could be two Texas showdowns, barring a mishap
This region is fun and should be wide-open
But good luck trying to pick who will win
There are many good teams in this region of doom,
No. 1 UNC, will play FGCU
But although Calipari has flustered and fumed,
Kentucky’s a 4 and might face Yogi’s crew
That is, if both teams can escape the first round,
Chattanooga and Stony Brook have something to prove
On the other side, maybe Xavier will resound
Weber State is not good, but Wisconsin has moved,
From disappointment to seven seed, thanks to Nigel Hayes
SF Austin and West Virginia play super-fast,
Michigan should end all the Tulsa malaise,
Pittsburgh is average, I’m not sure they will last
USC plays Providence in the eight versus nine
Ben Bentil’s a monster, but points are a grind…
Virginia and Michigan State, it’s set in stone!
Not so fast, there’s still a few roadblocks,
Utah and Purdue are two tall unknowns,
And I kinda like Arkansas Little-Rock
Hampton, sixteen, will play UVA, one
Texas Tech/Butler will be a fun contest
It’s been a while since ‘Cuse last won,
But Boeheim is in, though it’s caused some unrest
Isaiah Whitehead and Seton Hall are mighty exciting
Iona could challenge Iowa State if the Gaels play their best,
But Wiltjer’s Bulldogs can also be biting,
Fresno State somehow won the Mountain West
But seriously, there’s one way I think this region will end
Either Brogdon or Valentine, who will the Midwest send?
Wow, that was hard to write.
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