ZetaZigaZama Falls Apart in Second Half, Loses by 46

Once the players walked out onto the floor, everyone realized ZetaZigaZama Ball is Life would have serious problems in this game. Delt Gold, ZZZBB’s opponents, had breezed past its previous three opponents, putting the team fourth in the power rankings just behind elite teams like Get Wet With Friends and Mat Sci. Delt Gold had bench players that could score, outside shooting and big men to pound the ball inside. ZetaZigaZama had none of these things. Delt Gold even had more fans than ZZZBB. The plucky underdogs were flattened on the wheel of functional basketball.

In a blowout of epic proportions, ZZZBB (1-2) lost to Delt Gold 75-29 (4-0) in a disastrous performance at Blomquist Recreational Center. ZZZBB scored just 5 points in the second half and were unable to keep the game close whatsoever. Delt Gold was swishing and dishing, grounding and pounding, whirling and swirling, and doing all the other rhymes befitting a team that won by 46 points.

The game started poorly once again for ZZZBB, who led off the game by giving up a 9-0 run to Delt Gold. However, ZZZBB played its best offensive half by far and scored 24 points. Unfortunately, the defense was not as good as Delt Gold rolled to a 18 point lead at halftime. ZZZBB was led by the efforts of “The Baller” and “Spiderman” who kept ZZZBB in the game with their offensive production. Albert and The Curler added some scoring as well.

In the second half, ZZZBB tried to get its bench players some minutes. This backfired spectacularly. The team’s latest addition, “Turn and Shoot Guy”, air balled three shots and missed one more. The author of this article was on the floor for 35 seconds, turned the ball over on an inbounds pass, and immediately committed a useless foul that led to a three-point play. The game quickly got out of hand as the team’s offensive rhythm crashed into a brick wall. ZZZBB stopped creating anything productive on offense. Other than a three from The Baller and a last second layup by the author of this article, ZZZBB did not make a single shot in the second half. Meanwhile, Delt Gold torched ZZZBB’s paper-thin defense and scored another 33 points.

“We just couldn’t get anything going in the second half. There’s so many good teams in this league, and we just weren’t up to par,” said The Curler, who finished with a disappointing 3 points.

ZZZBB was burned by the three ball, as the team set up its defense to not contest three pointers, which is generally a good strategy in IM League basketball. However, Delt Gold had a squad of sharpshooters and strong post players, which limited ZZZBB’s defensive efforts. ZZZBB was also unable to score inside against Delt Gold’s more effective lineup. At the end of the game, Delt Gold amusedly watched a sarcastic celebration from ZZZBB as both teams left the court.

ZZZBB will hope to stop the string of blowout losses when it faces ZBT 1 next Monday. The team has played a tough schedule, including two of the top 15 teams in the league, and ZBT 1 will hopefully be a change of pace. ZZZBB will need to win the game if it wants to secure a playoff berth. The first half showed that the team can actually play well offensively, but the team needs to tighten up its defense immediately.


  • Charles “The Captain” still has zero points despite starting every game this season.
  • The Baller set a new career high in points scored, but it was not enough to even make the game close.
  • The author of this article scored 2 points on a last second layup, prompting the sarcastic celebration mentioned above. The author of this article is up to five points! Unfortunately, ZZZBB would also be better off if the author of this article NEVER THREW ANOTHER INBOUNDS PASS after last game’s hilariously poor attempt and his complete incompetence in this game.
  • Unlike the last game, ZZZBB did not get any help from the refs in this game. To be fair, ZZZBB was fouling repeatedly out of defensive desperation, but ZZZBB had zero free throw attempts in the second half.
  • Since winning its first game, ZZZBB has been outscored 126-51.
  • ZZZBB did not have as many turnovers in this game, I think.



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