Are you ready for some terrible Outback Bowl-related puns? Hell yeah you are! You better McCall up your fellow Northwestern fans to read this article!

I don’t know if you’ve Hurd, but Northwestern and Tennessee are playing a football game today! If you’re not busy and done with (Ian Park)ing the car, you should come out back and watch to avoid hanging out with your relatives. You’ll definitely have time after taking family pictures with your phone Kamara. It’s too bad dad ate all of the Tostitos chips that were supposed to be eaten at halftime. After the game, you can drive off in your Austin Carr and celebrate New Year’s with some egg nog. Just make sure you know vanwhose cup you’re drinking from, if you catch my drift.

(Brad) Northwestern went 10-2 in the Big Ten this season. While the team Niswandered around the Big Ten at times, the season came down to some Vitale plays. It took a long time for Pat Fitzgerald’s squad to get back into a bowl game, but the team is ready to potentially earn Northwestern’s best-ever season in terms of win total. While the losses to Iowa and Michigan certainly Mertz the players, the nice weather in Tampa should enHance the team’s spirits considering the weather in Chicago. The Outback Bowl doles out a ton of rewards for participating, and I’m sure Justin Jackson thought the team was all merrier over the holiday season. Northwestern’s offense can’t have feet of Clay and the defense must dominate the game a Ton to avoid the worst on New Year’s Day. Like that U2 song. That’s a good song.

I talked to my friend from Mexico City about the game and he said

“Yo quiero una victoria para Northwestern.”

Tennessee went 8-4 in the SEC this season. The Tennessee fans will be traveling from their Quinten Dorm(ady)s and heading to Tampa for the festivities. I’m sure they will be hoping to Berry the memories of recent failures like the Lane Kiffin experiment and a long bowl drought before the arrival of Butch Jones. Butch Jones is a Wiesman as his teams have improved since he arrived and this has been his best season yet. There’s a Chance (H)all of his players will get to celebrate today. The team had a medley of victories against lesser opponents and a few very close games against the best teams in the country.

Tennessee quarterback Josh Dobbs will certainly hope he won’t be known as “Josh sobs” or have his passes Josh robbed by the Northwestern secondary that has done a good Josh Job this season. Instead he’ll have to Josh Lob the ball to his receivers and 6-3 running back Jalen Hurd. I have already made a Hurd pun so I’ll stop here.

I hope you enjoyed that. Really, I do.

 

 

 

 

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